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Chapter 1 – A Parody I arrived in South Africa, a city within Africa, to live the African dream.

The camouflaged immigration officer at the African International Airport stared at my porcelain skin and long locks of beautiful pitch black split-end hair as he stamped my passport with a machete; he has never seen a white person, I was his first, a humbling privilege.

So here goes…I speak African – A Memoir of South African Encountersone woman discovered the art of the African language on the gravel road highways and the dark rain forests of South Africa where tigers roam and lions roar in unison.

One woman, one goal and a bucket of life-changing South African encounters.

Her self-published memoir, , tells the tale of how she, a “skinny white muzungu”, fled from the Congolese rebels during the “hutu-tutsi conflict” in the savanna grasslands of Zambia during “monsoon season” with a “dense jungle canopy” covering her “angel white hair”.

An extract of the 290 page book was published online and the Zambians were not pleased.

A woman lies on the ground in the image, midway through delivering a baby.

Within hours her book was dubbed as a promotion of harmful stereotypes about Africa and her Amazon rating increased to an 81% 1-star score. I don’t know how much time is left so please allow me to share my horrific South African experience before my house implodes into Hollywood stars and before the #Linton Lies wiggle its way into my memoir.

The photograph was one of three taken in June by the woman’s husband outside a hospital in Lusaka, the capital, during a prolonged nurses strike.

The mother had already been turned away by two clinics and couldn’t get care at the hospital.

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